Ethical Madness

It probably is worth it, but well..I just don't want to fall in love anymore because it's obvious I don't know how to handle a relationship. Maybe I am just a stupid freak of nature. I lost my optimism somewhere down the road, I used to be way more positive about things before. The aforism is great, by the way. I never had control over myself or over a relationship or over my feelings. But I was an asshole, I admit. Damn, why the hell do I feel like I'm 60 years old? I fell old, old, old and like shit. I've always neede love, but now I don't want to even hear of it anymore, because I always fall in love like stupid. I made every mistake in all of my relationships. The first guy was an asshole that onloy wanted to fuck me, second was...well, it just didn't work out anymore and she...well, she was she. I hate myself. I don't hate them at all. just myself.
Sorry for the rant.
By the way, Aurea, I don't know if I'll be able to come here tomorrow so I'll wish you a happy birthday today. I hope you'll have a good time, because for some reason I always have a bad mood on my birthdays lately.
Have a great time!