Ethical Madness

I've never had a boyfriend. It's strange, compared to that fact that many of the girls on my year had one when we were still 9 or 10 years old. Maybe I just never was that interested in them.

Everybody's always too young, I think. Nobody ever wants to get their heart broken. But she teached me something: it's always worth it. You don't realise it immediately, but it is. When you include it in your past, it metamorphoses into just another experience.

I spent three years to find absolute control over my mind and my body. Then I fell in love. She was my first girlfriend, and I think I was a complete asshole. I had too much control, I dared not to throw myself into the relationship. And now I regret it. Not much, but I do. I sook for perfection, didn't find it. Then it was over.

It's good to get your heart ripped. Then you can know it was whole, once. (This aforism is ripped from the wall of one toilet in my school.)